• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
  • Politics

    Trump Nominates Dracula To Lead Department of Blood

    Noah DeMichaelis / January 6, 2025
    read more
  • Politics

    High School Hustler Applies ED to Electoral College

    Justin Bilenker / January 5, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Midterms, in Fact, Mid

    Shawn Quek / January 4, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Op Ed: New Option For College Council Voting – Vote For Everyone!

    Kevin Zackovich / January 3, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Reg to Throw Out “Old, Gross” Special Collections

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / January 2, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    “We Don’t Know Why We’re Out of Money,” Says Uchicago Admin Poorly Hiding Mountain of Pickles

    Emma Zamansky / January 1, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    UChicago Unveils More Convenient Fourth Meal Dining Plan in the Loop

    Chase Teichholz / December 31, 2024
    read more
  • Scientific Excellence

    Breaking News! Human Clones Wreak Havoc

    Andrea Zhou / December 30, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UChicago Announces $200 Million “Free Expression+” Tier

    Vivian Psylos and 3 more / December 28, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Shady Dealer Officially Broke; Turns to Shady Dealings

    Vivian Psylos / November 29, 2024
    read more
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