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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Local Boy Enjoys Peeling Cheese More Than Eating It

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    An Excerpt from the Syllabus for the New “David Foster Wallace Circle Jerk” HUM Section

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op-Ed: I Have No Idea How Rechargeable Batteries Work and Neither Do You

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Sexting Over Venmo: As Easy As It Sounds

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    How Can I Be A Good Boy If the Concept of Good Is Arbitrary and Flawed

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Apartment Infested with Mugs

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Area Student Believes Love of Dogs Unique

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    “There’s No Money for a Living Wage,” Announces Zimmer from $30 Million Dollar Francis and Rose Yuen Center in Hong Kong

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Six Best Sexual Positions On The Israeli Palestine Conflict

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Classmate Insists All His Essays Be Called Manifestos

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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