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How to Make Your Couple’s Costume Work Post-Breakup
By Adam Lowinger Oct. 11, 2016 Does the following apply to you? You’ve just had a tragic breakup with the person you thought would be the one, and now you’re stuck with your…
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I Love The New Direction Packed Is Taking
By Chase Harrison Oct. 11, 2016 Well, they reimagined again. After causing a total campus meltdown last year, Packed: Dumplings Reimagined is back. The fast casual, organic, locavore, yuppie, globalist fusion restaurant caused…
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A New Approach to Love: This New Dating App Allows You to Connect With People in your SOSC Class
By Daniel Ruttenberg Oct. 12, 2016 Well, dating just got a whole lot easier! :). Dating apps like Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel have made it a lot easier to find your special…
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I Don’t Know Whether I Want to Spend Family Weekend With My Parents or the Pope
By Sofia Garcia Oct. 12, 2016 Family Weekend is here, which means that students will get the opportunity to spend the weekend with their parents in what is sure to be an emotional…
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10 Negs That’ll Seduce Any HUM Professor
By Jack U. Leighton Oct. 12, 2016 Nice Diploma, is it real? Weren’t you wearing that last class? Aww, that’s really cute. You pout a little when you talk about Ovid. You wearing…
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Uber Pool With Forty Clowns Surprisingly Comfortable
By Jacob Johnson Oct. 12, 2016 I’ll be honest with you guys –. I didn’t mean to request a Pool. My finger slipped, and I didn’t notice until it was too late. But…
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First Years to Skip One Year of Human Interaction with AP Credit
By Baunnee Martinez Oct. 12, 2016 After pressure from the student body for more credit from their AP examinations, the College is now offering Class of 2020 students with 5’s on certain tests…
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First Year Struggles to Hide Stolen Condoms Before Family Weekend
By Marlin Figgins Oct. 12, 2016 First –year Jameson A. Delaney, who requested to be called by his stage name “Jay D- Lane”, is now releasing his first single, which is based on…
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Four Things to Do When You’re Sexiled
By Sue Donim Oct. 13, 2016 We’ve all been there. You‘re are making your way back to your dorm after a long night of studying, only to find a sock has been sloppily…
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What Do You Mean You Didn’t Like My Indian Chief Costume?
By Dean Ellison Oct. 13, 2016 Ok, you Millennials make NO sense. After the whole kerfuffle with the letter this summer, the College Advisors told me I had to improve my approval rating…
