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5 Cats Who Definitely Voted for Donald Trump
Snuffles has been a part of the Young Republicans ever since she could drink milk out of a dish. She thinks that the free cat movement by those liberal snowflakes is an abomination…
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Letter: There’s Always Spring Quarter
We know that two quarters in a row of distance learning isn't how you planned to start your time in college. You wanted to spend Orientation Week with several dozen of your newest…
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Mitch McConnell rages at Hype House, looks to contract COVID-19
As COVID-19 rages across the nation, many Americans worry for their own health and the health of loved ones. With the recent breakout of more than two dozen cases among members of the…
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Booth Student Announces His Two-Week “Immersive Empathy Micro-Metcalf Retreat” on Linkedin
As I am sure that you’ve heard, Booth School of Business, where I am pursuing an MBA as an octuple legacy has gone remote for two weeks. Despite the difficult news and I…
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New Passive Investing RSO Proves Profitable, “Incredibly Boring”
HYDE PARK – UChicago has never had a shortage of investment clubs ready to launch students towards careers in finance, high-paying jobs on Wall Street, and inevitable burnout by age 30. So it…
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Point: 2020 Will be the Worst Year Ever. Counterpoint: 5781 Will be the Worst Year Ever.
Point: 2020 Will be the Worst Year Ever Written by Bernard Sanders The COVID-19 Pandemic. The 2020 Presidential Election. Increased and hyper-visible police brutality. Climate change. Fires, floods, droughts, political unrest. This…
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Top 5 Things You Can Say in SOSC to Convince Your Professor That You Did the Readings
“Actually in another class I am taking this quarter...” This is a standard but reliable go to for students who did not want to read another hundred pages of Adam Smith talking about…
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Milkshake Wednesday to be Replaced with Fecal Friday
Following the University’s suspension of Milkshake Wednesday over social distancing concerns, the administration has begun using Hutchinson Commons as a center for new, rectal COVID-19 diagnostic tests.
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Introducing UChicago’s Thoughts and Prayers Network, By and For Enlightened Centrists
UChicago Mutual Aid has recently come under fire for using alleged leftist imagery and leftist concepts like “mutual aid.” I was shocked and appalled when I heard about this. My sister’s neighbor’s dog’s…
