I’ve spent my life until this point looking for people as cool as me. I was the coolest kid in high school, even if no one else thought so. I had my lunch…

Michele Rasmussen, in a strange yet brave attempt to quell the spread of COVID-19, released a statement today declaring that frat parties were indeed “not poggers.”

In the wake of the University’s announcement that campus would be entering a second lockdown of the quarter, a group of UChicago fraternities released a statement.

“I hope this new name will remind students that fun is just an obstacle towards achieving their goals,” Griffin told the Dealer. “I also have high hopes that the name will go a…

"The committee felt that students should be motivated to study for finals before they actually learn the material that will be on their finals, and if you don't like it fuck you your…

A recent email from the College urged students to stay at home and within the Chicago area during the upcoming spring break, and revealed that the only activity the College suggests students do…

Rather than deal with the Soros-backed liberal elites of the media, I decided to turn my cubicle into a soapbox and recite my argument on the fourth floor of the Reg. Having chosen…

Lieutenant Commander Zimmer denies that the school has become complicit in hyper-militarism, stating that the Main Quadrangle’s helipad has been there all along, and that anyone who disagrees will be dishonorably discharged.

With the COVID-19 pandemic, us first-years have had a good amount of time to explore our rooms. That being said, here’s seven things in my room I haven’t made sweet, sweet love to.