Our sources have already received rumors of an underground Maroon Dollar trading poker ring operating under the Regenstein Library…

Typical texts include some combination of Shapiro, Davis, Reich, and Owens."

Unions are the only group which can negotiate for you: if you’re represented by a union, you’ll only have negotiating power as a collective rather than a super cool, maverick, lone wolf individual…

Youtube fan edit for the 90s classic Y Tu Mama Tambien.

Reports show DU members begging for Maroon Dollars outside the Reg to repay their debt, although no member responded to our request for comment.

“I try to sit with them at lunch but they’re always, like, so mean to me."

“We felt like the administration just wasn’t doing our job with 5,438 employees, but we remain optimistic that the 5,439th will do the trick.”

“After four straight years of Datamatch, we thought we’d hit rock bottom in terms of question material, but it turns out we could sink lower down!”

The UChicago community was sent into an uproar this week after #justiceforNorth began trending on Twitter.

So how about it? Wanna give me a shot? If the age gap ever feels weird, just pretend I’m 25 like I said I was when we first matched.