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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Album Review: Justin Timberlake’s “Man of the Woods”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UCPD Unveils New Patrol Zeppelin

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Shake Day Moved to Medici

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Canada Geese Migrate South as Spring Approaches

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Sports

    Biathlon Fever! The Olympics is Adding Shooting to Every Other Sport!

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op Ed: Petition to Democratize Golf Cart Access

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Need a Cover Letter Template? The Shady Dealer Has You Covered

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Botany Pond Ducklings Served at Fourth Meal

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Exposed: The 55th Street Fire Station is Actually a Police Station

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The Shady Dealer’s Must-Take Classes of Summer 2018

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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