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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Ask Student Health!

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Opinion: Veganism is a Spectrum

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5 Baffling Contraptions Your Roommate is Using to Hog the Outlets

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5 Art-Based Therapies You Will Love

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Homeopathic Breakthrough! “Expired Advil”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    3 Step DIY Cathey Face Mask

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Participation Trophy! Losing Oscar Nominees Will Receive a Complimentary Fish Penis Inspired by The Shape of Water!

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Alt-Right Twitter Demands New Oscars Categories for Best Crisis Actor/Actress in a Leading Role

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Lil Uzi Vert Wins Winter Olympic Gold in Men’s Freestyle

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Why I Only Eat Non-GMO Ass

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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