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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The UChicago Sports Cheers You Need To Know

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Campus Life

    How Short Is Too Short? Dressing for Office Hours

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Letter from the Editors

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Why We Won’t Be Accepting the Nobel Prize for Truth-Telling

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Weirdo Humanities Major Shoves Entire Chicago Manual of Style Up His Ass, Again

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Saturn V Rocket Carrying Satellite Dorm Explodes on Launchpad

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Opinion: Call Me a Millennial Again, and I Will Summon the Pumpkin Lord

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Lifestyle

    Tragedy Strikes! Area Woman Only Has Enough Batteries to Power Her Remote Control, Vibrator, or Fire Alarm

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5 Things your roommate plugged into the wall that you just don’t understand

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    4 Drawers Your Parents Definitely Shouldn’t Open This Family Weekend

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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