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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Letters from the Editors

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Eat Pray Labyrinth: How I Found Myself, Stuck In A Labyrinth

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    4 O-Mances That Should Have Ended By Now

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5 Fall Activities That Will Give You a UTI

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Please Remember To Get Your Feels Vaccine

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The Chicago Shady Dealer is Pivoting to Video

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    FIJI Social Chair Sadly Deletes Pinterest Page of Three Months

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Reincarnation of Vincent Van Gogh Rips other ear off during SOSC seminar

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    An Examination Of The University’s Newest Alternate Reality Game: B.S.

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Sponsored Advertisement — PACKED: Dumplings Reimagined

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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