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Opinion: Veganism is a Spectrum
By Milena Pross Jan. 30, 2018 Meat, cheese, eggs, gummy bears, honey, gummy bear-shaped jars of honey: these are just a few common food items that are not considered “vegan” by the masses.…
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5 Baffling Contraptions Your Roommate is Using to Hog the Outlets
By Thomas Noriega Jan. 30, 2018 1. The Glow-Box During the day, it’s just another box plugged into your shared surge protector, but at night, it radiates an eerie blue glow directly into…
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5 Art-Based Therapies You Will Love
By Reva and David Logan Center for the Arts Jan. 30, 2018 Tired of all the hard work? Looking for a way to unwind this winter quarter? Then be sure to drop by…
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Homeopathic Breakthrough! “Expired Advil”
By Milena Pross Jan. 30, 2018 Throw all your arnica out the window and flush your chamomile down the toilet, folks! The doctors and doctors-adjacent just found the coolest new salve Gwyneth won’t…
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3 Step DIY Cathey Face Mask
By David North Feb. 11, 2018 Why spend money on expensive face masks that leave your skin feeling dry and damaged or waste time in your busy college schedule going to a salon,…
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Participation Trophy! Losing Oscar Nominees Will Receive a Complimentary Fish Penis Inspired by The Shape of Water!
By Dealer Newsdesk Feb. 19, 2018 Oscars 2018 Tonight, thousands of Americans will tune in to the Oscars and celebrate many of Hollywood’s most talented actors and filmmakers. And, even though only a…
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Alt-Right Twitter Demands New Oscars Categories for Best Crisis Actor/Actress in a Leading Role
By Thomas Noriega Feb. 19, 2018 As the greatest actors and actresses in the world are honored tonight for their hard work on screen, the right wing of the Twittersphere has been crying out…
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Lil Uzi Vert Wins Winter Olympic Gold in Men’s Freestyle
By By Ryan Fleishman Feb. 20, 2018 In an upset victory sure to define American sports for years to come, Lil Uzi Vert has officially won the Olympic gold medal in Men’s Freestyle…
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Why I Only Eat Non-GMO Ass
By Megan Parsons Feb. 20, 2018 If you’re a smart shopper, you already know why it’s important to eat organic, free-range ass without additives or artificial preservatives. Personally, I like my ass without…
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Boss Baby Sweeps the Oscars!
By Shady Dealer Newsdesk Feb. 20, 2018 Boss Baby (AB ’97, MBA ’04) Oscar audiences around the world waited with bated breath as the winner for Best Picture was announced. Many were expecting…