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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Your Favorite Presidential Candidates, Reimagined as Disney Princesses

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Lifestyle

    Sexy Steve Irwin/Stingray Costume Pulled From Shelves

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Climate Study Finds Place With Highest Temperature Extremes Hot Pocket in Lab Microwave

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Overconfident First Year Takes All of Floor’s Condoms

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    How to Make Your Couple’s Costume Work Post-Breakup

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Love The New Direction Packed Is Taking

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    A New Approach to Love: This New Dating App Allows You to Connect With People in your SOSC Class

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Don’t Know Whether I Want to Spend Family Weekend With My Parents or the Pope

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    10 Negs That’ll Seduce Any HUM Professor

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Uber Pool With Forty Clowns Surprisingly Comfortable

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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