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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Marijuana Rescheduled

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Second Year Confused Why People Different from Him Don’t Feel the Bern

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Man Called “Big Dave” Confirmed To Be Big

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    United States Rewrites Foreign Policy In Wake Of Student Government Decision

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Let’s Network Together

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Feral Child Raised by Improv Troupe

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    GOP Engages Millennials through Hip Hop Musical about Restricting Reproductive Rights

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    My Three-Star Review of Getting Dominos to Bake Me Into A Pizza

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Lifestyle

    Five Ass Tattoos You Won’t Regret

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Canadians Glad Justin Trudeau Distracts from their Small Population and Cold Climate

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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