The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

read more
October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

read more
April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    An Open Letter to My House Wellczar

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Frat Charges Guys $5 at Door to Correct for Income Inequality

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Bernie Sanders Now 90% Meme

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Politics

    Mitt Romney Still Cries Self to Sleep at Night

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    How to Use a Study Room You Haven’t Reserved

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Tumblr About to Get Really into Alchemy

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Creepy: Scientists Have Created a Marco Rubio with Sentience

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Bio-Curious Student Registers for Genetics Class

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Report: 80% of all SOSC Students Are White Guys with Tortoise Shell Glasses

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Torrented New Kanye Album Ruled Best Virus Of All Time

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
131132133134135

Also in the News...

Mark Carney Responds to U.S. Threats: “You like that, motherfucker.”

Trump Pledges Two New Transformers to Israeli Defense

Democrat Donkey Accidentally Kicks Itself in the Balls

German AfD Party Promises Not to Reanimate A Certain Austrian Corpse

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Categories

Archives

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2026 Chicago Shady Dealer
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.