Chicago Shady Dealer

Canadians Glad Justin Trudeau Distracts from their Small Population and Cold Climate

By Nico Aldape
April 23, 2016

Though he has been in office for over five months now, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau continues to make waves through his embrace of social change and the promise of a young, yet qualified leader. However, the unspoken reality many Canadians appreciate aboutface with Trudeau that serves as an undercurrent under his politics and policy is his attractiveness.

“I don’t know why I haven’t seen even more Buzzfeed posts or YouTube videos of the PM on my newsfeed,” said third-year and native Montreal, Quebec resident Juliette Nihiliste. “All my American friends mention Trudeau and only Trudeau whenever I’m around them, which I keep telling them is an annoying, oft-repeated stereotype. To be honest though, , but II think about him all the time, to be honest.”

Though he considers himself a member of the Conservative Party and was sad to see former Prime MinisterM Stephen Harper step down, first-year and Saskatoon, SaskatchewanEdmonton, Alberta resident AlfredHarry Winston reached across ideological lines to recognize the good publicity the Prime Minister brings to his nation.

“I mean, SaskatchewanAlberta is essentially like Texas, except that my entire province has half the population of Houston,” explained Winston. “The PM gave a speech in SaskatoonCalgary once and I went to it. The speech was terrible, but the way the snowflakes glistened on his already shiny, perfectly gelled hair was the shining moment of it, literally.”

When presented with a picture of House Speaker Paul Ryan to rate his attractiveness, both Nihiliste and Winston took one look at his political views and old pictures of when he was bearded and simply remarked “Nah.”