• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

read more
April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
  • Campus Life

    UChicago Requires Library+ to Access Books

    Niles Crane / October 5, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Point: We Should Increase Fire Drills/Counterpoint: Let’s Add A Gym Requirement Instead

    Andrea Zhou / October 4, 2025
    read more
  • Internships & Jobs & The Hard Reality of Modern Capitalism

    Apply for the Royal Internship

    Andrea Zhou / October 2, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Bridge Between Quad and Reg Somehow Collapses Despite Being Solid Road

    Justin Bilenker / October 2, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    “Back to Basics” Aims of Education Address Stresses, Shapes, Counting

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / October 1, 2025
    read more
  • Off-Campus Life

    In Addition to Fluoridated Water

    Justin Bilenker / September 29, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Peer Mentor “Thrilled” for Group Meeting, Spends 45 Minutes on a Lonely Zoom Call

    Niles Crane / September 27, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Some Motherfucker Broke the Woodlawn Study Room Window over the Summer, Haha!

    Vivian Psylos / September 26, 2025
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Waitlisted Students Rejoice! Five First-Years Have Gone Missing in the MSI Mirror Maze

    Niles Crane / September 25, 2025
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Disgusting Mouse Cartoon Repulses Nation

    Chicago Shady Dealer / September 14, 2025
    read more
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