-
Now That It’s Spring, I Should Probably Shave My Three Meters of Armpit Hair
By Breck Radulovic May 13, 2016 Hello, spring, and goodbye Old Man Winter! It’s been a long one, and so I haven’t touched a razor since mid-October. But now that it’s over…
-
Biathlon Fever! The Olympics is Adding Shooting to Every Other Sport!
By Breck Radulovic Feb. 24, 2018 Following public interest in the biathlon, an Olympic sport that combines cross-country skiing and rifle shooting, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) announced that all Olympic sports will…
-
Five Ass Tattoos You Won’t Regret
By Breck Radulovic April 23, 2016 1. An Outline of a Hheart- Turn your own ass into a dry-erase board of love!. Ask your lover to write in their initials with sharpie, and…
-
Sexy Steve Irwin/Stingray Costume Pulled From Shelves
By Breck Radulovic Oct. 10, 2016 Citing a brewing “outrage tornado”, Halloween Unlimited CEO Bart Robinson ordered his franchises to stop selling the popular “Sexy Australian Reptile Finder and Scary Pointed Sea…
-
Area Subletter Fails Turing Test
By Breck Radulovic April 20, 2017 Area Subletter Fails Turing Test Following her acceptance into a study abroad program in Vienna, University of Chicago second -year Allie Sullivan arranged to sublet her…
-
Hot New Trend! Steaming Your Vag
By Breck Radulovic Jan. 30, 2018 American actress and professional white woman Gwyneth Paltrow created quite the splash in 2015 when she promoted vaginal steaming, a controversial Los Angeles spa treatment. Personally endorsed by…
-
Bumper Sticker Space on Subaru Forester at a Premium
By Breck Radulovic April 20, 2017 Bumper Sticker Space on Subaru Forester at a Premium Hyde Park resident Patty Nielson, aged 55, announced on Facebook that she is running out of room…
-
Climate Change PSA: Reindeer Can Fly, But They Sure as Hell Can’t Swim
By Breck Radulovic Dec. 5, 2018 Baby, it’s cold outside! But not for much longer. Climate change is reaching the North Pole, and it’s not looking good for Santa’s reindeer. You’ve likely read…
-
Jeb Bush Suspends Campaign to Become Inflatable Man outside Car Dealership
By Breck Radulovic Feb. 18, 2016 Former Florida Governor John Ellis “Jeb” Bush has announced he plans to droppped out of the race for the presidency after weak performances in early primaries.…
-
How Short Is Too Short? Dressing for Office Hours
By Breck Radulovic Aug. 28, 2017 When it comes to grading, it’s no secret that professors can be cruel, arbitrary, and entirely motivated by lust for their young, nubile students. So, how’s…
