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Nothing Happens in Tiananmen Square
This year was a big year for nothing happening. Notably, nothing happened in Germany either, where the Berlin Wall is still standing strong.
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As Y1K Looms, Mathematicians Raise Concern About Abacus Malfunctions
As many as two goods or services are being exchanged at any given moment, taking up a majority of the abacus beads not being used to count the date.
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Sorry! We’ll Get ‘Em This Time
It’s been an arduous two hundred years but I’m pretty confident we’ll be able to reclaim it this time.
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Third Crusade’s The Charm
It’s been an arduous hundred and fifty years but I’m pretty confident we’ll be able to reclaim it this time.
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We’re Totally Gonna Win This Crusade
It’s been an arduous hundred years but I’m pretty confident we’ll be able to reclaim it this time.
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John D. Rockefeller founds UChicago in Hopes of Creating Greatest Quizbowl Team on God’s Green Earth
“Most of today’s youth listen to music like “Hot Cross Buns,” or “Pine Top’s Boogie Woogie”. They couldn’t power a tossup about the 18th century composer Joseph Martin Kraus if their life depended…
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Op-Ed: Telegraphs are Ruining Our Children’s Productivity
Back when I was a kid, we went outside and played. We ate Grandma’s lead paint. We sprayed radium pesticides at each other. We lived in the moment.
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Op-Ed: I Am the Emperor, and I Want Dumplings
Some people are born to eat dumplings fed to them by quaking peasants from a silver platter, and other people are all of you.
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Area Man Solves Grain Shortage by Inventing Grain
According to a recent source, Cyde was last seen hoarding the grain and proclaiming it all belonged to him, citing his divine revelation of “social hierarchy.”
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Common Proto-Indo-European Phrases to Learn Before Your Trip to Proto-Indo-Europe
“Vqzwj”- This directly translates to “I enjoy eating birdshit.”