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Four Social Blunders to Avoid During O-Week
Hello new students! O-week is finally unfolding, and we hope you’re ready to meet your peers. Knowing this school, and the kinds of people it attracts, it is only natural that many of…
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Data Driven Analysis of the Most Likely Wars Dean Boyer Will Liken to Getting into the University of Chicago at Convocation
It’s that time of the year again: back to school sales are starting, temperatures are cooling, and college students across the country are preparing to return to campus for what they hope may…
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IOP Announces New Fellow, Former Governor Andrew Cuomo
The Institute of Politics at the University of Chicago has announced that former governor of New York Andrew Cuomo will join the Institute as a fellow for the 2021-22 academic year. In an…
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Mad-Libs: Write a Thinker Article!
On campus, I was “cancelled” by my so-called “tolerant” peers for [VERB ENDING IN -ING] a(n) [SINGULAR NOUN] at Cathey Dining Commons. Under the Reagan administration, such a display would have been welcomed,…
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In Protest of Care Not Cops Strike, UCPD to Go on Strike
By refusing to do their jobs, UCPD hopes to get CNC to stop demanding that they not do their jobs. “It’s foolproof,” Car Searle State, the current Chief of the UCPD, said in…
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Administration Partners with Laundry Machines to Steal Socks from Students
Attention: if you or a loved one lives in University Housing and couldn’t find two matching socks this morning, then this message might concern you. Housing Staff were recently busted for installing laundry…
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UChicago Student Running From College Council
While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year in The College,…
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UChicago Ad “At the Forefront” of Carlos Rodón’s No-Hitter
Rodón’s no-hitter, and the sign along with it, served as a beacon of hope during a difficult time for the University. “We hope that Carlos’ dynamic, lockdown performance provides a great example for…
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What I Wish I Had Known on March 11th, 2020: A One-Year Retrospective on my Gilded Age History and Economy Final Exam
The Dealer sat down with UChicago students to talk about the things they wished they had known last March. Well, just one student, really. And most of his complaints were about one history…
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I Failed My First HUM Paper and I Don’t Know Why… ?
My professor just graded my first essay for Readings in World Literature and gave me an F. I’m really confused because I copied most of it from an essay I wrote in AP…
