The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New University-Wide Administration Email on the New Department of Race, Diaspora, and Indigeneity

    Chicago Shady Dealer Newsdesk / February 24, 2022

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Student Swears She’s Not a Bad Person, Just Busy and Tired

    Kseniia Korotenko / February 23, 2022

    Suzanne Walker, a third-year, was discovered by the Shady Dealer investigative team to be “actually a very sweet person,” despite having been pronounced a “flaky antisocial gunner” by her ex-friend Kathlyn Graeber. According…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    David Axelrod Stands in Door of IOP Office with Forlorn Look, Waits for Someone to Beg Him to Stay

    Drew Landrowski / February 16, 2022

    Earlier this morning, a man who turned his brief professional relationship with Barak Obama into semi-successful political podcast career announced he would be stepping down as director of IOP. He assured three zealous…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Institute of Politics Shares What Black History Means to White People

    Jaden Woods / February 16, 2022

    “We felt it was very important to center Black voices. And what better way to center Black voices than to ask a white person how they feel?” said an IOP spokesperson.

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Night Owls: Will It Be Cold This Winter?

    Christian Villanueva / February 15, 2022

    In exclusive, never before seen footage, the Dealer sits down with Agnes Callard to discuss whether or not we can expect it to be cold this Winter, among other things.    

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The Halftime Show Was Good, But Where Was Jason Mraz?

    Harrison Weinstein / February 13, 2022

    The halftime show was great. Don’t get me wrong. Amazing rappers I’ve loved my whole life, not to mention with the incomparable Mary J. Blige, teaming up for a performance I couldn’t dream…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Imagine if we matched on datamatch haha jk unless?

    Doug Simpson / February 8, 2022

    So like, wouldn’t it be like totally crazy 💫😜 if we matched on datamatch 😂😂? Like that would be sooooo weird since we’re such good friends 💙👫 haha 😜😂. Like obviously we’d never…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New Study Finds That Only 25% of Your Friends Like You

    David Axelrod / January 25, 2022

    A recent study published in the Chicago Review of Sociology found that only a small fraction of your friends actually like you, with barely a fourth of your close contacts and loved ones…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    A Dealer Investigation: The “Bar” in Bar Night is Referencing the Bar Exam, Right?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / January 21, 2022

    Like generational wealth or seasonal depression, Alpha Delt’s Bar Night is a long-held tradition at the University of Chicago. Most students are familiar with classic bar night practices like getting drunk and attempting…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Race in America: My Experience as a White Student Undercover as a Black Student Undercover as a White Student 

    Ryan Miller / January 17, 2022

    I have done many things for the sake of journalism. I’ve gone deep undercover as a UChicago cafeteria worker, delved into the financial workings of our school’s administration, and even kayaked on the…

    read more
 Older Posts
Newer Posts 

Read It and Weep

  • 10 Things To Do on Campus This Fall That Feel Almost As Good As Being Loved
  • Trump claims to have discovered “Constitution 2” allowing him to do whatever he wants
  • Pumpkin Spice Adderall® now available from your local dealer for your fall-themed 9 hour cram session in the Reg
  • Karoline Leavitt to respond to CNN journalists with yo mama jokes
  • President Alivisatos found drunk at frat party after US news report
  • Secretary of War Pete Hegseth Announces New Military Uniform Deal
  • Top 5 Places for Dads to Sulk During O Week
  • Societie of Loyale British Subjekts Seen Counter-Protesting “No Kings” Rally
  • Northwestern University Kidnaps Phil the Phoenix as “Revenge” for US News Ranking
  • Top 10 Places to Cry on Campus

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Archives

Categories

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2025 Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.