The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Masthead

Editor in Chief

Merrin Seegers

Managing Editor

Lena Birkholz

Deputy Managing Editors

Maisie Thompson

Jacob Halabe

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Photo Editor

Emilio Rosas Linhard

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Aidan Jones

Andrea Zhou

 •

Deputy Layout Editors

Vangelis Psylos

Anu Vashist

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Student Swears She’s Not a Bad Person, Just Busy and Tired

    Kseniia Korotenko / February 23, 2022

    Suzanne Walker, a third-year, was discovered by the Shady Dealer investigative team to be “actually a very sweet person,” despite having been pronounced a “flaky antisocial gunner” by her ex-friend Kathlyn Graeber. According…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • UChicago’s Most Eligible Bachelor Found to be “Escaped Specimen” From UChicago Medicine
  • House Misses Apple Season, Forced to Go Rutabaga Picking
  • UChicago Login Systems Switch From Duo to Trio
  • First-Year Enchanted by Dead Gazes of Grad Students in Lab
  • World Leaders Pledge to Kill Last Black Rhino by 2030
  • Helium Balloons Rise Due to Inflation
  • Study Finds Bite Magazine Not Edible
  • Student Wellness Reports 700% Increase in Gout
  • EPIC NEW FRESHMEN CHARTER NEW FRAT OMEGA OMEGA OMEGA
  • Chemistry Department Adds Shorthand Requirement to Make Time for Even Longer Pre-labs

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Archives

Categories

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2023 Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.