A new report from the Journal of the Human Dietary, found that UChicago’s most prominent culinary magazine is not edible. The study, published last Wednesday, used over 300 “community testers.” The experiment was…

Indeterminate terrier mix boys led the polls, closely followed by Doberman-Chihuahua boys. “I’m so sick of the weaponized incompetence. Why are you in Physics for Future Presidents? You’re literally a physics major!?” said…

Also, when I asked my dad about his debt, he told me a “dumb little girl like me wouldn’t understand,” and then said some unsavory things about my mom.

Another said “I think it was supposed to be an environmental statement or something, but I think he just wanted an excuse to wear fish guts."

“I think it’s disgusting that our kids are reading about a limp-wristed fish on the taxpayer’s dime,” DeSantis stated.

Environmental activists have touted the app as “pretty messed up” and “the solution that we didn’t ask for, but thanks, I guess”.

“I thought they gave these awards to musicians or Presidents that record audiobooks,” said my clearly stunned grandmommy.

Henson is also suspected of cross-border trafficking: the court has questioned how Chinese and South American hunters could have acquired the rotting corpse of Big Bird.

Years from now, art history students will take treks to the 1st Floor Harper Women’s Bathrooms to study my seminal painting.