Point: Dining halls should strive to incorporate healthier cereals. Counterpoint: You can pry the Lucky Charms out of my cold, dead hands, bitch!
Point: Dining halls should incorporate healthier cereals.
Point: It’s important for bright young minds to have the opportunity to nourish themselves early in the morning. Cathey Dining Commons, however, does not appear to share this opinion, as each of the cereal selections is some sort of sugary monstrosity of flavor and artificial dyes. I would like to suggest that some plain Cheerios may be the remedy to our productivity crisis. I would love to politely petition for the addition of more wholesome grains. Thank you for your consideration of this matter.
Counterpoint: You can pry the Lucky Charms out of my cold, dead hands, bitch!
Counterpoint: HOW DARE YOU. How do you sleep at night? You’re stealing JOY and WHIMSY from CHILDREN! I have Lucky Charms every day and I’m FINE! I LOVE RAINBOWS! I haven’t slept in DAYS and I LIKE IT!!! Try to take my Red 40 from my cold dead hands. I’ll see you at dawn. Only one of us will walk away, and I ASSURE YOU it will be the one POWERED BY FREEZE-DRIED MARSHMALLOWS.
Pauline Singer
