Chicago Shady Dealer

Arley D. Cathey buys naming rights to student

By Hannah Gitlin
Oct. 21, 2012

Students at the University of Chicago were surprised when, on October 5th, University alumnus Arley D. Cathey, Ph.B ’50, acquired the naming rights to Eric Greene, a second-year public policy major from Columbus, Ohio. Now the former Mr. Greene, now the Arley D. Cathey Recipient of Higher Education, can usually be found playing a game of pick-up Ultimate on the quads, “chilling with [his] bros,” or studying in the reading room of the same name.

“I guess it came as a bit of a surprise,” said the Arley D. Cathey Recipient of Higher Education. “I’m used to people calling me Eric, but money talks.”

The Arley D. Cathey Recipient of Higher Education’s friends have expressed a degree of skepticism about the name change. James Lawson, his roommate, said , “It’s been kind of confusing to get used to. But the sign on our door says his name is the Arley D. Cathey Something for Something or Other, so I guess it’s official.”

When asked which name he prefers, The Arley D. Cathey Recipient of Higher Education expressed that “Whatever’s cool. But I have been experimenting with some nicknames – Arls, ADCROHE, The Arley Kid, Guy With Weird Name… I’m just throwing some stuff around,.”

“It’s ridiculous,” says Lucy Malloy, a third yearAnthropology student, “You can’t just rename a person,. I don’t care how many millions of dollars are going into his education, it’s unconscionable. I’m just going to keep calling him Eric, like I always have.” Lucy says that every time she hears someone refer to him by his new title she corrects them loudly, because that is her duty as a “wise third-year” and “good friend”.

“No, I have no idea who that girl is,” said The Arley D. Cathey Recipient of Higher Education, of Lucy, continuing, “She knows my name? Is she hot?”