By The Easter Bunny April 20, 2014 There will be an attack. I can’t tell you when or where, but it is going to happen. Soon. And there will be casualties. In the…

By Isaac Krone April 20, 2014 Prominent mathematician Dr. Ernest Poyevski shocked the mathematics world yesterday when he presented a paper, to be published in Communications on Pure and Applied Mathematics, which estimates…

By Timi Koyejo April 20, 2014 The University of Chicago Department of Public Policy has announced that Kathleen Sebelius, in her first move since resigning as U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services,…

By Alex Foster April 20, 2014 Here at The Chicago Shady Dealer, a publication with a mission, we strive to pass on awesome stories about the stuff that matters. Well, we believe that…

By Walker King April 20, 2014 Totino’s Pizza Rolls were provided for residents at May House study break this Sunday for the second week in a row, an anomaly many residents attribute to…

By Noah Lemelson April 20, 2014 Caving to popular demand,, The University of Chicago announced yesterday that it will host a Todd Awareness Day on June 13th. Many suspect the University’s decision may…

By Timi Koyejo April 20, 2014 Following months of deliberation, Congressional leaders and President Obama have announced in a joint bipartisan news conference their plan to eliminate the budget deficit entirely through funds…

By Alexander Dunlap April 20, 2014 The University’s Student Health and Counseling Service has issued a warning to students and administrators about a harmful and highly addictive attitude reported to be on the…

By Evan Bernstein April 20, 2014 Over the past week, The Dealer has received numerous phone calls, anonymous tips, and letters regarding this weekend’s horrific event on the North Side. The Circle Jerk…

By Evan Bernstein April 20, 2014 1. 1991 2. 1992 3. 1993 4. 1994 5. 1995 6. 1996 7. 1997 8. 1998 9. 1999 10. 2000 11. 2001 12. 2002 14. 2003 15.…