By Nigel Pennington Feb. 4, 2013 Anno Domini 1161—Today, I’d like to talk about today’s hot animal-related topic: dragons. Everyone’s heard of them, nobody’s seen them, but everybody’s afraid of them. Well, there…

By Alexander the Great Feb. 4, 2013 Author’s Note: Alexander the Great apologizes in advance for the following display of enthusiasm – he is writing on his favorite topic, after all. What is…

By Jesus Feb. 4, 2013 Jesus Christ @Jesus Just drinkin sum wyne wif mah crew. We rollin 13 deep #YOLO #getschwasted @God Judas @Judas Things were a bit awkward at dinner; hope Jesus…

By Maya Handa Feb. 4, 2013 Unspeakably miserable Mexican painter Frida Kahlo flashed a rare smile yesterday after her husband, muralist Diego Rivera, tripped over a bucket of turpentine and ripped his pants.…

By Chris Deakin Feb. 4, 2013 Having finally returned to the telegraph office after three days of ignoring it, area man George Brittlemeier is reportedly overwhelmed by the number of telegrams left to…

By Chris Deakin Feb. 4, 2013 H.W. Peckwell: Journeyman wood engraver for Scribner’s Magazine, principally of trains. The Curt Billy-Whale Lighthouse and Public House, on Shefhouzen Island Joseph Misen: invented the Beard Ellusifier,…

By Chris Deakin Feb. 4, 2013 Check this out: kids are all about this new Minecraft thing. Have you seen this? Hold your horses, I’ll tell you, gosh. So what it’s all about…

By Ron Feb. 4, 2013 Dear Ron Jon the Romantic, What is a Kegel? Does it hurt? Sin-cerely, Mystery Manwoman Dear MM, A kegel is when you squeeze your butt really hard and…

By Jeremy Archer Feb. 4, 2013 JERUSALEM (AP): Sources close to the Messiah report the peculiar outline of toast on the face of the Lady Marian, mother of Jesus Christ. Machir, 34, a…

By Matthew Goldenberg Feb. 4, 2013 1522 – Breaking their silence for the first time in the three weeks since returning from their circumnavigation of the Earth, members of Captain Ferdinand Magellan’s crew…