The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

read more
April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

read more
October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

read more
November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Trump Administration Announces Executive Task Force on Inclusivity of the Gays, Illegals, and Blacks

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Meryl Streep Stripped of Oscars for Performance Enhancing Drugs

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Loses Wrestling Match To James “The Paper” Thompson

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Bill Clinton Would Like to Remind Populace He Only Had to Lie Once to Be Put on Trial

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Was Not Lost – I Chose to Leave

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    University Completes 80-Year Burton-Judson Hyphenation Project

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Message from the Editorial Board

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Five Hot Tips for Students Staying in Housing on a Break

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    “Opposition to Safe Spaces Not a Fundraising Ploy,” says Zimmer at Opening of New $150M Institute for Free Speech

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    To Counter the Influence of Old Corporate Billionaires, Let’s Elect a Bunch of Young Environmentalist Tech Billionaires

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
153154155156157

Also in the News...

Mark Carney Responds to U.S. Threats: “You like that, motherfucker.”

Trump Pledges Two New Transformers to Israeli Defense

Democrat Donkey Accidentally Kicks Itself in the Balls

German AfD Party Promises Not to Reanimate A Certain Austrian Corpse

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Categories

Archives

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2026 Chicago Shady Dealer
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.