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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Pierre Curie’s Wife Wins Nobel Prize in Chemistry

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Three Million Participate in Civil War Enactment

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Amazing! This Man Turns Water into Wine! But His Radical Politics are Raising Some Eyebrows

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Bronze Dagger 6S Officially Revealed

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    President Trump Holds Press Conference To Read List of Black Friends

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    High School Student Robert E. Lee Voted Most Likely To Secede

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Exclusive: The Negotiation Over the Wall

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    We Are Living In A Post-Racial America

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Hate Spending So Much Time in the Reg

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Tips for Giving Blowjobs with Wooden Teeth

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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