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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    How To Tell If Your Tinder Date Is Actually Danny DeVito In Drag

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Pardoned Presidential Turkey Protests for Right to Die

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Admissions Office Announces Exciting New Diversity Initiative

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Bob Avakian has best Quarter yet, Announces 5 New Series

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    FDA Approves Fuckboy Cones

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    University Administration Announces New Bullshit, Half Thought-Out Change With No Prior Consultation

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Ho Ho Ho! Why is my House Getting Closer to the Water Every Year?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UCPD Announces Plans to Float Hyde Park 200 Feet Above Rest of South Side

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    OP-ED: Fuck, You’re Writing Another Paper About Carlos Santana, Aren’t You?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Perfect Holiday Gifts for that One Friend Who Struggles with Object Permanence

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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