By Liam Coles Aug. 1, 2016 Philadelphia— The suicide bomber Justin Saeed ended up killing 3 and critically wounding 4 in what has been called a massive attack of political correctness. This Monday…

By Liam Coles April 23, 2016 CJust the other day, controversy broke out recently after it was discovered that several groups above the Mason Dixon line have been were selling the beverage, originally…

By Liam Coles May 13, 2016 12) Thomas: People like men with conviction. 11) Matthew: Taxes suck. 10) James: Not even mentioned in John’s Gospel. 9) Phillip: Cute but not even miraculous. 8)…

By Breck Radulovic Aug. 2, 2016 Presidential candidate Donald Trump announced that he had received a human heart from a dedicated supporter and Iraq war veteran at Tuesday’s rally in Virginia. Politicos, pundits,…

By Rusty Pecker Aug. 6, 2016 God, I love college so far. The independence, the intellectual rigor, the dollar milkshakes. Shit man, it’s the best. Honestly, my favorite part of it is the…

By Nik Varley Aug. 10, 2016 Congratulations, your childhood is over! Your carefree days of youth and innocence are now gone forever, and you’ve taken your first step into the festering quagmire of…

By Morgan Pantuck Aug. 21, 2016 We live in an overwhelmingly patriarchal society. The male experience is considered standard and objective, while women are viewed as incomplete or deviant forms of men. For…

By Morgan’s Sense of Self Awareness Aug. 21, 2016 I’m not going to deny that we live in a male-dominated society which consistently attempts to delegitimize the female experience. However, you are currently…

By Morgan Pantuck’s Mom Aug. 21, 2016 Jacob: Dad’s tennis buddy has a son named Jacob who’s a pre-med at Northwestern. I gave his mom your cell phone number, so look out for…

By Dean Nondorf Aug. 21, 2016 Dear incoming first-years, Welcome to the University of Chicago! We hope your journeys to Hyde Park were intellectually stimulating. You’ll need a clever anecdote to share with…