Chicago Shady Dealer

12 Apostles Ranked According to Attractiveness

By Liam Coles
May 13, 2016

12) Thomas: People like men with conviction.

11) Matthew: Taxes suck.

10) James: Not even mentioned in John’s Gospel.

9) Phillip: Cute but not even miraculous.

8) Simon, called Peter: Abs, but pick damn name.

7) Simon: Real original name there.

6) Bartholomew: Cute, but almost too DTF (down to forgive).

5) James, son of Zebedee: Great legs, but uglier of the sons of Thunder.

4) Andrew: Come with him and you’ll be fishing for men all night!

3) John, son of Zebedee: He’s the disciple whom Jesus loved…to stare at.

2) Judas Iscariot: Not the best face, but you know #BadBoy.

1) Thaddeus: Thad ass though.

One Comment

  • Carlos

    Lmao at Thaddeus! I just watched The Chosen and there is this episode he was talking with Peter, and all I could think of was “Damn, dat ass thicc!”

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