The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

read more
April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

read more
November 16, 2020
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Harvard Grades Pop

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Thank God I’m Covered in Leeches

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Electricity is Just a Fad, Horses are Forever

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Greek Students Claim Rome Appropriating Culture

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    All the Star Wars Movies, Ranked

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    6 Twenty-Somethings Who Have Only Had Two or Fewer Kids

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    It’s Cold Outside

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Pilgrims Discover Lollapalooza

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Discovery of Fifth Humor Revolutionizes Natural Sciences

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Ha! You’ve Brought a Sword to a Slightly Longer Sword Fight!

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
128129130131132

Also in the News...

Mark Carney Responds to U.S. Threats: “You like that, motherfucker.”

Trump Pledges Two New Transformers to Israeli Defense

Democrat Donkey Accidentally Kicks Itself in the Balls

German AfD Party Promises Not to Reanimate A Certain Austrian Corpse

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Categories

Archives

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2026 Chicago Shady Dealer
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.