-
A Student’s Guide to Sneaking LSD from Craig
By Mary Vansuch Feb. 22, 2016 Now, I’m not saying that I have ever used LSD, or that I even know Craig. These are just rumors I’ve heard from through the grapevine. Nor…
-
Trump Defends New Mustache
By Morgan Pantuck March 1, 2016 Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump shocked reporters earlier this week by appearing in public with his facial hair trimmed into a toothbrush style, shaved sharply at the…
-
Area Middle School Troubled Over Emergence of “Super Tuesday” Clique
By Breck Radulovic March 2, 2016 Thomas Jefferson Middle School has seen the development of a new clique in recent weeks. Styling themselves as “Super Tuesday,” the group of spiteful and exclusionary middle…
-
First-Year Encourages Voting
By Morgan Pantuck March 13, 2016 Just moments ago, first-year student and budding political activist Marissa Newbolt encouraged her Facebook friends, 99% of whom support the Democratic Party, to vote in the upcoming…
-
P/CP: Help! I got a “2100” on my STD
By Danny Marcus and Daniel Markus April 5, 2016 Point: Help, I got “2100” on my STD test By Danny Marcus Excuse me,—does anyone know what it means to get a 2100 on…
-
Opinion: My Prospie is Trying to Look Like Me, and I’m Scared
By Daniel Ruttenberg April 14, 2016 I really need help here. My prospie, Michael, has beenis slowly changing his appearance to look like me, and this is definitely is not normal. To be…
-
Marijuana Rescheduled
By Nico Aldape April 20, 2016 IInspired by the proposedhow the federal government may move of marijuana from a Schedule I to Schedule II controlled substance, which would allow for further recreational use…
-
Second Year Confused Why People Different from Him Don’t Feel the Bern
By Mary Vansuch March 3, 2016 Danny McDonald, areaa University of Chicago second– year undergraduate reported to be of “the whitest, upper class fashion”, was left fundamentally confused on Super Tuesday as to why…
-
Man Called “Big Dave” Confirmed To Be Big
By Ryan Fleishman April 22, 2016 After an exhaustive search into the various quantitative measurements of local resident David “Big Dave” Smith, scientists from the University of Chicago have announced Tuesday they have…
-
United States Rewrites Foreign Policy In Wake Of Student Government Decision
By Ryan Fleishman April 22, 2016 Following The University of Chicago Student Government’s majority decision to support the boycott, divest, and sanction resolution against Israel, President Barack Obama and the entire United States…
