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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Astronomer Discovers Water in Satellite Dorm

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Top 5 Places to Fuck in the Reg

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Nirvana Preemptively Eliminated from Summer Breeze Lineup

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Student Flies South for Winter

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    What to do if the Toilet Water Splashes in Your Butthole

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Area Student’s Daily Schedule Totally Unchanged By Lockdown

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    A Five-Star Review of Riding my Bike on the Sidewalk

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Student Nominated for Oscar for Daily Performance of Gender

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Female Philosophy Major Thought Experiments With Women

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Which Oscar Nominees Pass the Bechdel Test? We Didn’t Check.

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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