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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Economics Lecturer Alan Sanderson falls for the ol’ “PhD Under a Box Propped Up by a Stick” Trick

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Dean Boyer Banned from Club Penguin

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Nintendo Factory Inspection Finds 50,000 Copies of Super Waluigi

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Bong Miraculously Lasts Eight Nights

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Corrupted Article- Do not publish.

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Despite Facebook RSVP, Student Doesn’t Attend Frat Party

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Socratic Dialogue on Memes

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Professor Embarrassed Over Sudden Family Visit

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Daylight Savings Can’t Save this Relationship

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Opinion: Stop Sexiling Me so You Can Masturbate

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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