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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    News in Brief: November 20, 2014

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Uber Driver Crosses into Non-Delightful Racism

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    What Has Become of Serious Journalism?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    News in Brief: November 27 (Happy Thanksgiving)

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5 Easy DIY Thanksgiving Recipes

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Butterball Hotline Questions

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    ‘Twas the Night Before Finals

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Urine-leaking Box Surprisingly Does Not Contain Puppy

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    If You Die in the Med, You Die in Real Life

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5 Reasons It Sucks to be a Girl

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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