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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Campus Life,  Oh the Places You'll Go!

    Top 5 Places for Dads to Sulk During O Week

    Matilda Robinson / November 10, 2025

    Orientation Week (O-Week) has come and gone, not unlike a high school boyfriend, and has prompted, much like a high school boyfriend, an extraordinary level of fatherly sulking.

    read more
  • Internships & Jobs & The Hard Reality of Modern Capitalism,  Oh the Places You'll Go!

    UChicago Grad Now Boss of his Former High School Bully

    Jackson McNamee / November 25, 2020

    “It’s so crazy! It’s just like that old saying: don’t bully the nerd cause they might grow up to be your boss. But hey, don’t get me wrong! I’m not working these guys…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • Alphabet Ct De to Bdget Crisis
  • Deal of the Century! “Functional Government” Listed on Black Friday Sale for $54.99
  • Join Singe
  • Wet Socks Make Students More Productive, Says Designer of the Sidewalk Outside Cobb Hall
  • Trans Fats Banned a Second Time for Being Woke
  • The Campus Printer Decides My Essay Is Simply Not Meant to Be
  • Alivisatos to Demolish the “bad parts” of Harper Library for a square-dancing arena
  • University installs large trapdoor in the Reg that swallows students, Tuition still Rising
  • Professor Who Takes Ten Weeks to Grade Papers Shocked by Late Assignment
  • Everyone Saw You Press “No Tip”

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