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Join Singe
Dearest UChicago student, are you feeling single this Valentine’s Day? Well, never fear. We are here to help. Toss out Tinder and Hinge, and join Big Tech’s newest brainchild: Singe, the college dating…
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Wet Socks Make Students More Productive, Says Designer of the Sidewalk Outside Cobb Hall
The underground reservoir also channels a significant amount of toxic gas into Cobb Café. The water that pools in front of Cobb Hall forms a secret elixir, which once deposited on socks creates…
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Point: I Want a Situationship / Counterpoint: I Think I’m in Love with Her
Being in a situationship is so much easier when they’re not a good person. Sharon literally fosters rescued monitor lizards, and she lets me pet them. Apparently it’s “good for their socialization.” They’re…
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First Year accidentally goes to bed before 3 AM, profusely apologizes
“I swear I won’t let this happen again,” he sobbed. Tragically, at this point in the interview, a ray of sunshine came through the windowblind and fell upon Jasonson’s face, leading him to…
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Op-Ed: My mom had one Tylenol, my dad is circumsized, and I really like trains
I found out that my mom took one Tylenol when she was pregnant with me. This raised concerns, given that the Department of Health and Human Services has linked Tylenol during pregnancy to…
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“Record-breaking” O-Mance Lasts an Astonishing 2 Weeks
Summers concurred, “I’ll always cherish the days I spent with Kyle – from the time we were making out and our teeth accidentally clicked against each other, to the other time we were…
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7 Things to Post on Your Insta Story to Let Your High School Friends Know You Go to Alcohol Parties Now
4- Drinking a single White Claw in the house lounge with the caption “menace hours” This isn’t like high school menace hours; this is menace hours with White Claw Hard Seltzer Surge: Natural…
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How I Became Wealthy and Successful Using Just the Sigma Grindset and My Parents’ Emerald Mine
By 11.00 am I’ve usually made a profit of around negative 50%. I then call Mommy and Daddy and tell them I love them and I need some more money.
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I’m Not a Bad Person, I’m Just British (And Other Lies We Tell)
And Brad, if you’re reading this, just remember – being British is not your fault, but you should absolutely be blamed for it.
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Report: Wrong Person Shirtless at Point
"He did it all in one go, and only with one hand. It was so smooth, it almost made up for the sweat stains."
