4- Drinking a single White Claw in the house lounge with the caption “menace hours” This isn’t like high school menace hours; this is menace hours with White Claw Hard Seltzer Surge: Natural…

By 11.00 am I’ve usually made a profit of around negative 50%. I then call Mommy and Daddy and tell them I love them and I need some more money.

And Brad, if you’re reading this, just remember – being British is not your fault, but you should absolutely be blamed for it.

"He did it all in one go, and only with one hand. It was so smooth, it almost made up for the sweat stains."

It might also help you face the fact that you, Daisy’s most trusted confidant, are about to slit her throat and cut off her beautiful warbling head forever.

“But, Thuddeus,” you say, “$8500 a month is a lot of money. That’s enough to buy, like, 850 bananas.”

I had to go again because of an accidental stab wound, and they even said I could “leave the premises immediately” when I took my knife out.

First, I will leg sweep you with my calves (which are the size of baby hogs). Then, once you’re on the ground, I will start punching and I won’t stop until my antipsychotics…

Last Thanksgiving, your grandma messed up the acronym and called your goth cousin “part of the GLBT community,” which was obviously a hate crime.