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“Where Is Everyone?” Asks Student Who Just Finished Load of Laundry
After two months, Owen Davis had finally figured it out. On the morning of January 20, 2020, the RGG resident looked in his dresser only to realize that he had run out of…
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How the Lockdown Helped Me Bond With the Ghost That Lives In My Apartment
When I first moved into my apartment on Dorchester, seeing the apparition of a Victorian girl in the middle of the night was an unwelcome and gut-wrenching experience. However, in the wake of…
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With University Moving Online, Dealer To Publish Issues Via Fax
CHICAGO, IL – Representatives for the Shady Dealer announced today that, despite the University of Chicago’s move towards online classes, the paper would keep publishing, albeit in a different format. Effective immediately, new…
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35 Ways to Spend Your Extra Daylight Savings Hour This Weekend:
Bungee jumping Having sex Having more sex Having even more sex because you really don’t take that long to have sex Calling your mother and apologizing for everything Finally visiting the Art Institute…
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The Worst Part of MODA Was Having to Put the Models Down after the Show
People say to us all the time, “MODA is so great,” “MODA is so original,” “You’re so brave for designing clothes,” “We could never wear clothes like you do” — we know. But…
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“It’s Not Easy Being a Horse,” Says Horse
A lot of people have this romantic image of a horse’s life. Well, I can tell you it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Want to know why? Rainbows don’t exist and unicorns are…
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Where Does One Go for a Good Time Wednesday Evening?
UChicago has made great steps toward shedding its “where fun goes to die” reputation. So why is it that I still can’t find anything exciting to do on Wednesday nights? I know what…
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Area Man Sings Aria
Another announcement from across the midway: an assembly of people near the area have reported the appearance of an anomalous activity. Although not acclaimed for his singing ability, our Area Man assumed that…
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Op-ed: I’m Starting to Suspect These Kids Aren’t into Mardi Gras for Religious Reasons
Way down south, past even 61st Street, lies a city (un)affectionately referred to as the Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississippi– New Orleans. But the heavily Catholic city is only a city of…
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New Gentrification Destination for UChicago Students: Rural Iowa
As election season heats up, thousands of college students are flocking to Iowa to take their political condescension from Twitter replies to Iowa pig farmers – which is to say, to a whole…
