Visionary Mark Knockoff has recently invented the newest, hottest form of beauty pageants: Cardboard Pageants. The new pageant is designed to challenge traditional notions of beauty, like the norm around not being made…

A recent study published by Dr. Sarah Whippoor has reached a fascinating conclusion: the human soul is controlled by love rather than fear.

I, Dean Hale, have decided to extend your Core Curriculum requirements by adding a mandatory quarter abroad. It is therefore my great pleasure to announce UChicago will offer a study abroad program at…

Third year Thomas Horthenby, a Medieval Studies major, has decided to catch the bubonic plague in order to “know more about what it was really like to live in the Middle Ages.”

An investigation recently conducted by both the Dealer and seven TAPS majors concluded that the east tower elevator in Harper actually works, and the “Out of Order” sign outside is an elaborate piece…

WASHINGTON– President Joe Biden has put to rest any doubts about his fitness to serve by killing a moose, with his bare hands on the White House front lawn.

Several upperclassmen were shocked to witness a visibly confused first-year doing schoolwork in Hallowed Grounds.

Mac Properties has recently announced its new Feudal Peasant Deal, allowing UChicago students to live out their dreams of being medieval farmers legally tethered to a patch of barren land.

On Tuesday, second-year bizcon students Bryan Johnson and Ryan Johnston launched their new website Futurismo, an advance booking system for apartments in Campus North.

The second-year Business Economics major insisted that an article on the pizza of Bartlett Dining Commons would captivate the readership of The Shady Dealer. “Dude, people would love that shit,” he explained.