By Lindsey Greeson, Health Educator Oct. 17, 2013 It’s my favorite time of year again: Wellness Week. I’m pumped to go about my day today with just a little more pep. I’ll do…

By Zach Augustine June 2, 2013 HYDE PARK—Recent studies suggest that over three-quarters of participants in Coed Intramural Frisbee Leagues “don’t even know how to throw”. Multiple firstyear girls, coerced to play in…

By Zachary Augustine May 6, 2013 Researchers at the new Institute for Data Sets recently finished their four-year study on the state of water drainage in high traffic areas at elite-level institutions. Colleges…

By Matthew Goldenberg April 17, 2013 In a shocking spike in the local crime rate, police officials have reported that nearly all 5,000 undergraduate students at the University of Chicago were mugged or…

By Mark Sands Feb. 11, 2013 The Chicago Shady Dealer has obtained an early version of the address that President Obama will deliver tonight in his much-anticipated State of the Union Address. We…

By Peter Berkowitz Jan. 13, 2013 After years of dwindling attendance at the quarterly “Coffee and Doughnuts with President Zimmer,” Student Government held its first “Coffee and Doughnuts without President Zimmer” this past…

By Matt Montequin Nov. 13, 2012 President Robert Zimmer took to Midway Plaisance on Wednesday for the annual Presidential T?urducken Pardon, surprising onlookers when he chose to spare not one, but two turduckens…

By Maya Handa Oct. 30, 2012 Presidential candidate Willard “Mitt” Romney and running mate Paul “Something Folksy” Ryan announced yesterday in a consensual press conference that they were deeply disturbed to have discovered…

By Harry Weinstein Jan. 30, 2019   Alpha Delt may have cancelled this week’s bar night because of a polar vortex, but they will not stop me from spending my Wednesday nights like…

By Christian Villanueva Dec. 4, 2018 On November 30, 2018, former president George H.W. Bush passed away in Houston, Texas at the age of 94. While millions across the nation mourned the death…