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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer

Volume 16 Issue 5

May 21, 2020 /

volume16issue5-1

By Chicago Shady Dealer

Read It and Weep

Point: Someday, you’ll be forgotten by history / Counterpoint: I sold some really bad copper
Andrew Cuomo announces 2028 presidential campaign
Heists are back baby! Let’s steal the haunted amulet in the basement of Mansueto
Confused Animal Rights Group seen protesting outside NFL HQ after Bad Bunny announcement
Religious Studies Class Taught by Pope Leo XIV Cancelled Due to Federal Cuts
Trump accidentally destroys East Wing of Woodlawn
All Microeconomics 101 Students Swapped into Beginner Akkadian in Add-Drop Fiasco
First Year Formally Reprimanded for Failing to Intellectualize Homesickness
University to introduce affirmative action for guys named Sean (Shaun and Shawn excluded)
In his second memoir, “Ignore My First One,” Vance reveals that the root of his anger toward Zelensky was his thick lashes.

Chicago Shady Dealer

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