Home
About Us
Previous Issues
Our Greatest Hits
Submissions

Home
About Us
Previous Issues
Our Greatest Hits
Submissions

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer

Volume 16 Issue 5

May 21, 2020 /

volume16issue5-1

By Chicago Shady Dealer

Read It and Weep

UChicago Admin in Panic Mode After Mysterious Disappearance of the Vitality Crystals
White House Rushes to Explain Correlation Not Causation Following JD Vance Pope Visit
Interview: Debate Over Politics Blossoms Into Lifelong Friendship
Citizen App Provides Notice About Hyde Park Crimes: Dog Poop on Sidewalk, Premarital Handholding
Harper Releases New Specialty Drinks
New Printing Software Tells You Exactly How Many Trees You Killed, You Fascist
Update: President Trump Places 35% Tariff on Water; Aquaman Responds
Oops! Your Participation Grade Is Actually 99%, and You’ve Barely Gone to Class! 5 Tips to Gaslight Your Instructor
Utah Replaces All Water Supply With Electrolytes, ‘Cause That’s What Plants Crave
[Redacted] is the Best Fucking Frat at UChicago, in a Tolstoyan Sense

Chicago Shady Dealer

Home
About Us
Previous Issues
Our Greatest Hits
Submissions

Facebook
Twitter
Instagram

Home
About Us
Previous Issues
Our Greatest Hits
Submissions

Ashe Theme by WP Royal.

You May Also Like

Shortened Quarters

Canada Goose Wearer Cries for UCPD as Feathers Are Ripped Off His Back

UChicago Clarifies That Indoor Mask Policy Does Not Apply to Hot People