Maroon Wins Pulitzer Prize for “Courageous” Reporting on Reg Bathroom Closure
NEW YORK CITY–Columbia University has shocked the journalism world with its decision to award the 2026 Pulitzer Prize in Breaking News Reporting to the Chicago Maroon for its “courageous” reporting on a flooded bathroom on the third floor of the Reg.
According to Columbia’s announcement, “In a year marked by the chaos of war, unprecedented challenges to American democracy, and myriad problems both at home and abroad, the Pulitzer Committee wishes to commemorate the journalists tackling the issues that most affect us. This year’s winning piece, ‘Reg Bathroom Has Been Closed for Five Weeks Now; Probably Getting Fixed Soon,’ reminds us of what’s really important—plumbing.”
Danny Franklin, the author of the piece, reassured us that he had not used AI to write his article, “except for the fact-y parts.” Despite this, Franklin’s insightful journalism shines in lines like, “The floor was wet, likely because the toilet was leaking water, and the water was watering the floor, wetting it.”
The award is a great triumph for student journalism at the University of Chicago. The Dealer claims the Maroon’s victory as a victory for itself as well, and would like its cut of the prize money in small bills, please.
Katherine Timm
