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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    US, Nato Invade Dining Hall for Oil, Weapons of Mass Destruction

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Chalk to be replaced with humongous chalkboard

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Didn’t Know What I Really Wanted Until Chef Brent Made Those Fruit Sculptures

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    President Zimmer Occupies Admin Building: demands less transparency, less student input

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Senator Tammy Baldwin Comes Out as NBA Player

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Main Quad Drainage on Par with Peer Institutions

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UCPD Awarded RSO of the Year

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Health Inspection Finds Humans in Cathey Dining Commons

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Good Thing Nearly Allowed to Happen

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UChicago Students Flock to “Bang At Anywhere Else”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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