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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    IOP Reserves All Seats at “Increasing Political Participation” Event

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    March Madness overtakes nation: Millions stabbed and bludgeoned to death in streets

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Dean Boyer to challenge the Gods

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Freak Freshman Hasn’t Lined up Internships for Next Four Summers Yet

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Study: “Unhappiness Just Part of UChicago Experience,” UChi Secrets Most Successful Experiment Yet

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Skrillex Performs at USO Unmanned Drone Tour

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Maroon Dollar inflation on par with Zimbabwe’s

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Japanese Study Finds “Whales are delicious”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Exclusive: Undercover UCPD Officers Rampant in University Administration

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5,369 Students Mugged at 970 E. 58th Street

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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