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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Blue Chips Disbands to Better Maintain Its Exclusivity

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Ghosts of Friedman, Stigler Moan in 4th Circle of Hell as Ominous Trumpet Announces Entry of New Damned Soul

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Is UChicago’s Environment Giving You Depression or Do You Just Deserve to Die? Look Out for These Five Signs!

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Oops! I Thought Delta Epsilon was a Frat

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Dairy Section at HPP in Strange Transition Between Pumpkin Spice Eggnog and Regular Eggnog

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Dean Boyer Reads Plato’s Republic, Announces Plan to Exile All Creative Writing Majors

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Satan Devises Business Fraternities Only to Realize They Are Already a Thing

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    How to Communicate with Your Parents Through Your Amazon Order History

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The Shady Dealer’s Spookadelic Halloween Costume Guide

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Have You Voted Yet, You Fucking Ingrate?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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