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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Math Major Has Nothing Left to Prove

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Heard Our Football Team Might Actually be Pretty Good This Year

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    First Year Shocked to Lose 2019 Class Council Race After Convincing Chalk Drawings

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Weird Thing Hot

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Introvert Redefines Meaning of “Solo” Cup

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Giggling Economists Report Fishing Industry Floundering

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Junot Diaz Still “Yet to Decide” Whether to Run for President

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Maroon Considering Reporting News

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Admissions Office Releases Class of 2019 Dick Statistics

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Financially Struggling Rainbow to Cut Indigo

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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