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10 Signs You’re Being Hit On
By Willamina Groething Nov. 16, 2014 1. You keep bumping into each other, and it’s feeling more and more deliberate on her part. 2. It’s as though the wind’s knocked out of you…
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On The Macaroon’s Recent Coverage
By Evan Bernstein Nov. 16, 2014 The Chicago Macaroon has existed since the University of Chicago’s founding in 1892, and has in that time broken some tremendous stories. Ranging from pieces on the…
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First Year Steps on Seal
By Morgan Pantuck Nov. 16, 2014 Traditional UChicago folklore includes the long-held superstition that stepping on the seal in the Reynolds club will prevent you from graduating in 4 years. That legend was…
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Second Year Astoundingly Close to Developing Most Fuckable Personality on Campus
By Dan Lastres Nov. 17, 2014 Second-year Janotta House resident Devlin Ryder has successfully acquired the most fuckable personality at the University of Chicago. After spending all summer learning to hand-roll sushi and…
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After Long Deliberation, America Chooses Greater of Two Evils
By Daniel Moattar Nov. 16, 2014 After long deliberation, informed consideration, and an even-keeled look at the issues, America has handed the reins over to the greater of two profound evils, polling organizations…
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“You Like This” Says Salad Eater to Self
By Becky Stoner Nov. 18, 2014 A quiet murmur was heard this Tuesday around 12:17 pm in Bartlett Dining Hall. “You like this,” said second-year May House resident and reluctant salad eater Zoe…
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Future Senator Backstrokes through Pool of Vomit
By Clay Olsen Nov. 18, 2014 Kappa Delta Chi pledge and future Senate Majority Whip Scott Carter was seen backstroking through an Olympic-sized pool of vomit early last Saturday morning, sources close to…
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News in Brief: October 30, 2014
By Chicago Shady Dealer Nov. 19, 2014 Marlon C. Lynch Reassures Students: Security Alert Will Be Sent Within 30 Days of First Ebola Death on Campus Marlon Lynch, Associate Vice President for Safety,…
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News in Brief: October 23, 2014
By Chicago Shady Dealer Nov. 19, 2014 “Student” “Government” “Earns” “Stipend” The “University” of “Chicago” “Student” “Government” “voted” Thursday to establish a “new” “executive” committee whose five “members” would be “granted” $1000 “stipends”…
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News in Brief: October 16, 2014
By Chicago Shady Dealer Nov. 19, 2014 President Zimmer Seeks Word to Describe the University’s Approach to Education Sources close to the Office of the President reported Friday that Robert J. Zimmer, in…
