The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Only Intentional Humor Publication of the University of Chicago

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  • 8=Democracy
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • COVID Special Issue
  • Submissions

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Deblina Mukherjee

Diego Matamoros

Managing Editor

Kelly Tsing Sum Lo

Layout Editor

Christian Villanueva

Copy Editors

Harry Weinstein

Rahul Gupta

Photo Editor

R.E. Stern

Social Secretary

Kate Kaplin

Director of Special Projects

Merrin Seegers

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected]

  • COVID Special Issue

    Report: Fourth Years Graduating into the Pandemic

    February 19, 2021 /

    College graduation is one of life’s last clean transitions, a final passage from adolescence to adulthood that is predictable in ways other transitions rarely are. College is one of the only things in life that ends with a fresh start. Except when it doesn’t, because there’s a pandemic so your graduation is online and also you lost the link to join on Zoom, and more than that, you’re in the bedroom where you masturbated for the first time.

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    How UChicago’s Class of 2025 Navigated an Unprecedented Application Cycle

    February 19, 2021

    The Talker Versus the Texter

    February 19, 2021

    Friendship During COVID–19 Requires Communication and Consent

    February 19, 2021
  • COVID Special Issue

    Public School During a Pandemic: CPS’ Rocky Year

    February 19, 2021 /

    CPS has released a daring plan to resume in-person instruction after nearly a year of online learning. The key element? Hourly COVID testing.

    read more
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    9,300 Miles and 14 Hours Away, International Students Struggle With Attending UChicago Virtually

    February 19, 2021

    During Year of Coronavirus, Local Businesses Forced to Adapt

    February 19, 2021

    NCAA Overlooks DIII Athletes

    February 19, 2021
  • COVID Special Issue

    The Carillon Guild: Before and After the Pandemic

    February 19, 2021 /

    It was a cold morning, I remember thinking that it had probably rained last night. I’m pretty good at telling when it’s recently rained. I’m actually just pretty good at meteorology stuff in general. Anyway, Rockefeller Chapel (or, simply Rockefeller to us within the Guild) stood stoic and tall.

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    Friendship During COVID–19 Requires Communication and Consent

    February 19, 2021

    Practicing for an Uncertain Season

    February 19, 2021

    Bummed about a Pandemic Breakup? It May Be an Opportunity for Growth

    February 19, 2021
  • COVID Special Issue

    9,300 Miles and 14 Hours Away, International Students Struggle With Attending UChicago Virtually

    February 19, 2021 /

    “It’s actually been really nice,” said third-year Fig Newton, currently located in Singapore. “Because all of my classes are from 1 a.m. to 4 a.m. my time, I barely see my family. I’ve also been able to befriend a bunch of bats who live in the tree outside my house."

    read more
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    Friendship During COVID–19 Requires Communication and Consent

    February 19, 2021

    Bummed about a Pandemic Breakup? It May Be an Opportunity for Growth

    February 19, 2021

    Students Collect Oral History of Frontline Workers During Pandemic

    February 19, 2021
  • COVID Special Issue

    “A Fatiguing Journey”: A Frontline Worker at UChicago Hospital Reflects

    February 19, 2021 /

    “Because of COVID,” Orst said, “elevators have been at limited capacity. I’ve had to take the stairs to move my liquids from Floor 4 to Floor 5. Do you know how long it takes to just get to the stairs?”

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    NCAA Overlooks DIII Athletes

    February 19, 2021

    First-Year Experiences During a Quarter of Firsts

    February 19, 2021

    Students Collect Oral History of Frontline Workers During Pandemic

    February 19, 2021
  • COVID Special Issue

    Students Collect Oral History of Frontline Workers During Pandemic

    February 19, 2021 /

    The oral history tracks the dental health and oral hygiene of a selected group of UChicago Medicine patients through weekly interviews. “I’d ask someone to report to me about their molars and we’d get an hour-long rant about the Mueller report. We should be more clear about what we mean by ‘oral history’ next time.”

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    $100 Million and a Million Tests: How The NFL Played Throughout a Pandemic

    February 19, 2021

    Elderly Folks Show Resilience, Maintain Regular Social Interactions During Pandemic, Study Finds

    February 19, 2021

    Report: Fourth Years Graduating into the Pandemic

    February 19, 2021
  • COVID Special Issue

    First-Year Experiences During a Quarter of Firsts

    February 19, 2021 /

    As a first-year college student, I feel privileged to be among the select group of students experiencing college for the first time through the lens of remote learning. As such, I am preparing this list of experiences I’ve had for the first time this year for historical reference.

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    Changing the Script on Love at UChicago

    February 19, 2021

    NCAA Overlooks DIII Athletes

    February 19, 2021

    Friendship During COVID–19 Requires Communication and Consent

    February 19, 2021
  • COVID Special Issue

    344 Days of Isolation: The Dealer’s COVID Retrospective

    February 19, 2021 /

    Today, the Shady Dealer is proud to be the very first UChicago publication to release a coronavirus retrospective issue. We’d like to stress that all of the content in our retrospective is 100% original, and any resemblance — however striking — to upcoming Maroon articles is merely a coincidence. Moreover, any attempts to imitate our original reporting will be met with extensive litigation.

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    “A Fatiguing Journey”: A Frontline Worker at UChicago Hospital Reflects

    February 19, 2021

    Report: Fourth Years Graduating into the Pandemic

    February 19, 2021

    9,300 Miles and 14 Hours Away, International Students Struggle With Attending UChicago Virtually

    February 19, 2021
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Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • 8=Democracy
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • COVID Special Issue
  • Submissions

Read It and Weep

  • In Bid for Diversity, Board Chooses Muppet as Next UChicago President
  • Conservative Students Silenced by Regenstein Library’s 4th floor
  • You Got Us: Here are Other Maroon Articles We Released Without People Knowing
  • How Covid and the Summer’s Racial Reckoning Impacted the Way I, Your Friendly Neighborhood Econ Frat Bro, Live My Life and View the World
  • Rock Salt Flavor Retrospective: Hyde Park, Winter 2020-2021
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