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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Lifestyle

    Which EIC Are You?

    Breck Radulovic / September 16, 2018

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Thoroughly Enjoyed Thanksgiving with My Family

    Breck Radulovic / November 19, 2015

    I had a great time in upstate New York with a few of my relatives this Turkey Day. Before dinner even started, Mom was already pretty upset because my seventeen-year-old brother, Kyle, told…

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  • Campus Life

    Waffle House Replaces Saieh Hall for Economics

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

      By Breck Radulovic March 26, 2017 University of Chicago President Robert Zimmer announced the opening of Waffle House, a 24-hour diner chain, at 5757 S. University Ave. at a press conference on…

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  • Politics

    What are Your Favorite Presidential Candidates Doing Over Winter Break?

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic Nov. 19, 2015 10. This holiday season, Jeb Bush will avoid appearing in any family photos. 9. In a break from Trump family tradition, the Donald will give Christmas presents…

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  • Campus Life

    University Bans Pornography from UChicago Secure

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic Sept. 24, 2018 In a letter distributed to incoming first-years, the University of Chicago announced new penalties for students caught streaming pornography on university internet connections. The letter signed by…

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  • Campus Life

    Two Second Years in Trench Coat Caught Sneaking into Alumni Beer Garden

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic May 25, 2018 The Alumni Weekend Beer Garden is a tantalizing, esoteric myth among the University of Chicago’s undergraduate student body. The garden baffles college students, who do not yet…

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  • Campus Life

    Admin Accuses GSU of Taking Free Speech Too Far

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

      By Breck Radulovic and Dan Lastres Oct. 20, 2017 After years of successfully stymying grad students’ efforts to unionize, the administration was dealt a shocking defeat. Graduate students at the University of…

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  • Historical Issue

    Silly Bandz Craze Sweeps the Supreme Court.

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic – Washington, D.C., 2010 May 5, 2018 Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg Shows of her Silly Bandz Wow! It’s 2010 and every middle schooler, stoner, and Supreme Court Justice is rocking…

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  • Campus Life

    University Fails Mental Health Inspection

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic May 5, 2018 Bartlett Dining Commons The University of Chicago failed an April 16 mental health inspection because of insufficient mental health resources, unsatisfactory support for those in need, and actively hostile…

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  • Campus Life

    Pearson Institute Established to Resolve Global Conflict Between Econ Majors, Rest of World

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic Oct. 8, 2015 News of a $100 million donation was well received, with both Economics majors and human beings with souls agreeing that the new Pearson Institute for the Study…

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 Older Posts

Read It and Weep

  • UChicago Admin in Panic Mode After Mysterious Disappearance of the Vitality Crystals
  • White House Rushes to Explain Correlation Not Causation Following JD Vance Pope Visit
  • Interview: Debate Over Politics Blossoms Into Lifelong Friendship
  • Citizen App Provides Notice About Hyde Park Crimes: Dog Poop on Sidewalk, Premarital Handholding
  • Harper Releases New Specialty Drinks
  • New Printing Software Tells You Exactly How Many Trees You Killed, You Fascist
  • Update: President Trump Places 35% Tariff on Water; Aquaman Responds
  • Oops! Your Participation Grade Is Actually 99%, and You’ve Barely Gone to Class! 5 Tips to Gaslight Your Instructor
  • Utah Replaces All Water Supply With Electrolytes, ‘Cause That’s What Plants Crave
  • [Redacted] is the Best Fucking Frat at UChicago, in a Tolstoyan Sense

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